Is Jesus enough for me?

I want you to pause and read the title slowly and sit with it for a bit. If someone had to ask me this I wouldn’t have to think twice, ofcourse He’s enough for me, that would be my immediate response. However, I want to share with you a soul searching truth that my Heavenly Father revealed to me recently.

This came out of a revelation as He showed me certain areas of my academic and professional development. For those of you who are new here, for a long time my identity was wrapped up in my academia. I was praised most when I did well, so I sought to do well. That didn’t always go to plan as I was never taught that my best will look different in each season. Also that a myriad of factors contributed to my ability to concentrate and perform, predominantly my environment. I want to remind you as I remind myself, who you are is more important than what you do. What God has enabled me to accomplish is a miracle, with all that I’ve endured.

Back to the revelation.

The Holy Spirit gently whispered “Am I not enough?” I choked up on the question for a bit, feeling like Apostle Peter when Jesus asked asked him do you love me? All along I thought I had made peace with the painful realities of my academic journey, but in that moment anger surfaced. I was so angry, and I said “these parts of my life were the most painful, I could’ve avoided so much trauma without it, why would you do that and then expect me to believe you love me?”

I felt somehow I should be further, if my life had gone the way I planned.

Some familiar words, there was silence. The tears streamed down my cheeks my blood pressure began to regulate once more. As He gave me space and grace to acknowledge and feel my emotions, then allow them to pass. A thought came, “if I didn’t have those troubling experiences I wouldn’t know You the way I do now. And I am so glad I know You the way I do now. So please take this anger from me and heal my heart.” My spirit echoed what my flesh couldn’t because we all want to be justified in our anger especially when we believe we are “right”.

I don’t know about any of you, but Jesus Christ is all I have in this world, and if He’s not enough no one else will ever be. So, I have decided to embark on a journey of what does this mean for me? What will it look like in each season?One of the things that came to mind is allowing my best to be enough. Acknowledging and embracing the fact that I am a human BEING and not a human doing. I’ve given my life to the Potter’s hands. He knows best and I am learning to trust Him more in each season.

This may not be your area of tenderness but ask God to reveal to you the areas in which you have not allowed Him to be enough.

We can sing as much as we want to but remember He knows the depths of our hearts, and still loves us.

Blessings💙

I want to leave this song with you that’s a favorite of mine.

Fill my cup, Lord;

I lift it up Lord;

Come and quench this thirsting of my soul.

Bread of Heaven, feed me till I want no more.

Fill my cup, fill it up and make me whole.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" - Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)