Navigating Grief😔😪😭🥺
- Shannon Fraser
- Nov 5
- 7 min read
Updated: Nov 18
Grief is defined as the natural emotional and physical response to loss, which can include the death of a loved one, divorce or other major life changes. Whether we like it, accept it or not grief is a part of our earthly journey. I’ve been navigating some major life changes that I believe the Lord wants me to share with you.
I’ll start by saying there are things about myself that God has revealed to me that I am learning to embrace with it’s varying expressions. One of those things is my call as His prophet. From a young age I always knew things before they happened, I would say things and they would happen. Never really paying deep attention to it, I noticed it and that was it. After much disappointment and chaos I stopped speaking for a really long time. I had a valuable lesson to learn that no amount of pain can hinder God’s call on my life. He ordered my steps and I went to therapy to understand and overcome my pain. By His grace some of it has lost it’s sting. It was then I was reintroduced to who He created me to be before the foundations of the earth, His mouthpiece. Let me pause here in transparency and say, what little I knew about prophets when I returned to Christ was enough for me to make a mockery of the office. I would laugh at those who had the call and say things like “rather you than me”. Imagine my shock, when God revealed who I am and who got the last laugh.🥲
One of the ways God confirmed this call was through the death of my grandmother. The scripture says “The eternal Lord does nothing without revealing His plan to His servants, the prophets - Amos 3:7.
Months before my grandmother died, I had a dream of her funeral, I saw myself on the pulpit reading. I couldn’t hear what I was saying but I saw that I was wearing a black dress. The coffin was below where I stood. I had this knowing that it was the eulogy I was reading and that I wrote it. Ofcourse I was emotional after a dream like that. I didn’t write the dream down, I didn’t inquire of the Lord about it, I did NOTHING. The year turned and I was ready for all God had in store for me. My granny and I are both born in the same month and I made arrangements for my birthday to spend some time communing with the Lord. Around late February or early March my granny began to decline and at the time I was nursing injuries from a car accident I was involved in back in January. Needless to say a lot was happening in RAPID succession. I couldn’t process everything that was happening I just clung to God with all I had left. During the time I had carved out to spend with the Lord. It was there coming out of a vision that He whispered “Ask her if she’s ready” . When my brain actually processed what He said I broke down crying. I called my mom and she didn’t even say hello she said “what did God tell you?”. I told her and she started to cry too. That was one of the hardest days of my life, I asked in obedience and my granny said “yes”. I prayed with her and the presence of the Lord filled the room. I called my family over, no one took me seriously. They thought I was being negative but from a professional standpoint and more importantly a spiritual one, I knew my granny was leaving us. The last few weeks were filled with constant anxiety and frustration. Frustrated at the fact that I couldn’t take the pain away, but she was always peaceful when I prayed or sang to her and I kept doing just that. I was determined to make the most of whatever time God granted me with her. I stood in the strength of God as I watched her slip away. I whispered in her ears, “Gran gran you’re going to see Jesus, He’s waiting on you”. She responded with “mmm”. I remember telling my mom as we left the ward that night, this is the last time we’re going to see gran gran alive. As we traversed the hospital the walls began to seem hollow. Things began to feel empty, I drove home numb and in silence. I couldn’t sleep that night as I knew the phone call to give us that news was coming. And sure enough 4:02 am it did. “She’s gone” my mom whispered as she tried to wake me up. I got up and got dressed and we made our way back to the hospital. I can’t put into words how seeing her lifeless body made me feel and then watching my family members break down. The burden felt impossible to carry. As I navigated the fact that I knew this long before anyone else did and it’s now a reality. Honouring God and what He showed me in that dream, I wore a black dress, wrote and presented the eulogy at the funeral by His grace. As I stood there in His strength I knew she would’ve been proud of how I showed up inspite of how difficult it was. I was humbled to be able to honour the legacy she left in this way.
The last two years of my life have been the most life changing and stretching.
Navigating not having her around has been tough. I lost my granny but I gained a deeper revelation of who God is. He is the Lord that KEPT me from completely losing my mind as many days I felt like I was hanging on by a thread. Grief often breaks us down in a way that we have to become someone else in order to move on. I avoided our family house like the plague, I didn’t want to be confronted with everyone’s tears and mine and the fact that the house doesn’t feel the same without her. Everything felt so different, in the midst of my pain God strengthened me to produce all that He required of me in each season. Thank you Jesus, I am NOTHING without you. 😭
There are 5 stages of grief (Kübler Ross Model) that I want to share with you.
Denial: An initial emotional buffer where you may feel shock and numbness, or have difficulty believing the reality of the loss.
Anger: A stage where anger can surface, often directed at others, the deceased, or even inanimate objects. Anger can mask underlying pain and grief.
Bargaining: This stage often involves a desire to turn back time or make deals with God in an attempt to change what has happened.
Depression: A period where the full reality of the loss sets in, leading to feelings of sadness, emptiness, and withdrawal.
Acceptance: This stage is about coming to terms with the reality of the loss, not necessarily being "okay" with it, but learning to live with the new reality.
It should be noted that we may not always experience each stage in any specific order and some stages can last longer than others. It is always recommended to get professional help if you desire to navigate grief. It helps with clarity and just the need for a safe space during a time of vulnerability.
Earlier this year was when I first noticed I had came to the final stage of grief as it related to my granny and it was such a peaceful feeling. God truly restored joy and hope in my heart and I’m a better woman because of it. Then in July, I received a devastating phone call from my uncle and he was requesting my professional opinion as he was concerned about the way my great aunt was breathing. The moment I stepped through the door and saw her again, I knew this was it. I told him to prepare himself and the family. This time I guess I was taken a bit more seriously. We all process things differently so I didn’t really mind. The next few days were filled with being in the hospital and then making my aunt comfortable. I’ve noticed that in both instances with my granny and now her God used me to pray for them and make them comfortable. As a result of the experience with my granny I was able to navigate this time around with more wisdom and courage. I’m grateful to God for every opportunity He has given me to bless the lives of His servants. I love you both so much, and I miss you, rest in the arms of the One who loves you most.
I didn’t feel like I had enough time to properly grieve my aunty as I had to go back to work a week after burying her. Then the healing process began. This was new for me, but I allowed God to lead me and it’s been interesting. I am looking forward to my continued growth and how He helps me to navigate these uncharted waters. I shared all of this to say, if you are navigating grief in the death of a loved one, a transition, a broken friendship or relationship whatever it looks like for you. I want to remind you that you are not alone. It may not feel like it but our faith isn’t based on how we feel now is it? God is right there with you, cry out to Him and ask Him to help you navigate this season in a healthy way and in a way that brings Him glory and watch your life transform. I pray for the comfort and strength for the trying days. I pray that the peace of God will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus, in Jesus name amen. I know you probably read all of this and felt the weight of this burden and maybe wondered how is Shannon still smiling everyday and giving her all to Jesus? My answer is simple. My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus blood and righteousness. I dare not trust the sweetest frame but wholly lean on Jesus name. On Christ the solid rock I stand all other ground is sinking sand. All other ground is sinking sand.
May you stand boldly even in this place and declare His goodness inspite of your pain.
God bless you.💙
To console those who mourn in Zion, To give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; That they may be called trees of righteousness, The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.” - Isaiah 61:3
Watch the teaching God lead me to record👇🏾
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