The beauty of Family.🌸💕

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you - John 15:12

If you’ve had the blessing of being raised in a functional family, God bless you.

I’m here once more in obedience to God for those of us who sadly grew up in sheer dysfunction.

This is still a soft spot for me as most of my traumatic experiences were with family members and God is currently healing my heart as we explore the trauma together. Inspite of all the mess I love my family dearly. I often questioned why God would give me these people and expect me to believe He loves me? People who treated me like I was invisible most of the time. The constant chaos and bickering caused my brain to create a defense mechanism of violence in efforts to protect my soft heart. I had determined to get as far away from them as possible when I grew up.

When I encountered God in my early 20s there was a lot to unpack I’m so grateful He didn’t overwhelm me. He would highlight areas He wanted me to work on and I would ask Him to help me and He would. Before long there was something that happened that I want to share with you. For my birthdays as far as I could remember I would always tell God what I wanted and I would receive it with a little extra. In the midst of pandemic with all the restrictions I had an excessive amount of time to think and reflect. That particular birthday which was my 25th. I had a conversation with God and I said to Him you have given me all I asked you for, for every birthday This year I’m here to ask what do you want from me? That moment will be forever etched on my heart, He readily responded “do something with your family.” As shocked as I was I didn’t refute or refuse I got to planning. Ofcourse food had to be involved. I love that He gave me the opportunity to choose.

That year I had brunch with my family. This may seem small or even insignificant to you and I get it. But for me this was HUGE, before that day I NEVER included my family in any of my birthday celebrations and for obvious reasons, I was FED UP and I didn’t want them around. So there was that. I watched them all come together to celebrate me, something I’ve never witnessed before. They all chipped in and everything was prepared and set on the table. God took over and I was able to share from my heart how they made me feel over the years and how it’s important to me now to be obedient to God. Healing flowed in that moment and Ofcourse I began to cry. I prayed and I blessed the food and them. We ate and a time was had.

Months later I took my final exit as God blessed me with my own apartment.

The depths of my healing began when I was removed from the environment that caused me so much pain. I’m so grateful for all He has done in and through me so far, it’s been a journey.😮‍💨

After my granny died, we drew closer, this was a prayer of hers for years. God answers prayer. There’s something piercing about death that forces you to grasp the fragility of life and that time should never be wasted. More importantly once a person exits this life all the things left unsaid can become burdensome. I firmly believe in giving others their flowers while they are alive. Love those God has given you deeply and forgive quickly.

I want to encourage those of you who have estranged relationships with their family. There is STILL hope. Ask God to help you mend those broken relationships and heal your heart. You may discover things about them and yourself that may shock you. One of the greatest things for me was realizing that as much as I wanted to be understood they do too. We all have varying personalities and though we may live in the same environment our perceptions will all be different. As I reflect I know that there are also people who don’t have anyone. Maybe their families all died at once, maybe they’re in foster care whatever it looks like they don’t have the blessing of the family. And that humbles me, though I wanted a refund I’m grateful for mine.

I pray that God will bring you to a place of healing and restoration. That you will be able to enjoy in its fullness the beautiful gift of family. Some of you may need professional help and that is okay, I had to get it too. It was one of the best investments I ever made in myself. I pray that God will order your steps and align you with those who will help you discover the you under your pain. God bless you.

Jesus Therapy💕